Gas Station Guy
It's a five hour drive from Cortona to Salerno where we drop off the car. We have a dirty windshield and no washer fluid so Larsen pulls into a station. There's some paper towels and glass cleaner there so he starts cleaning the windshield. Out comes this Italian man shouting and waving his hands. He grabbed the cleaner from Larsen and continued to shout. I'm pretty sure he insulted Larsen's mother. Now we all know that Larsen, ever the gentleman, doesn't operate at that level. Seater, however, gave him a perfectly executed, universal "chin flick" and off we went. This was good practice and put me in the proper mood for what came next.
Return of the Rental Car
Our rental car was to be dropped off in Salerno at 1:00 pm. Driving in this city is just horrendous. The Auto Europe office is a small storefront in the middle of the block. There's no designated place for the car so Larsen double parks (other drivers are honking and swearing) and I run to the office to ask where to leave the car. It's closed. What? The sign says closed from 1:00 -2:30. I go around the corner and find an empty space and Larsen squeezes in. About 2:00 we walk back to the office just in case they reopen early. The door is open, lights are on, and our hero is sitting on the stoop smoking a cigarette and chatting up some woman. We tell him we have a car to return and he points to his watch and says ”2:30”. That's when I bring out my "laser eyes". Romeo and I have a stare down that lasts about 30 seconds. No words, just the laser eyes of death. They still work! Our genius throws down his cigarette in disgust and checks in our car.
Ride Along The Amalfi Coast
The bus ride along the coast from Salerno to Praiano is stunning. Just beautiful! And scarey. The roads are very narrow and curvy. There's just enough room for two small cars or one bus. Add motorcycles to the mix and it's just nuts. The buses honk as they start around each corner but they don't slow down. Some of the corners are so sharp that we're certain the driver isn't going to attempt it....and then he does. These buses must be hinged in the middle. Amalfi Coast bus drivers don't much like tour bus operators. Whenever they get side by side, they both roll down their windows and proceed to question each other's parentage.
This is a relatively new hotel at just over 300 years old. It's a three story building that sort of meanders along the side of the cliff. The views are incredible. We are checked in by Giovanni, one of the two owners. He speaks almost zero English but we manage to get it done. I ask him which way to the Costa Diva Restaurant. "Noh Señora, ees noh romantic." And he proceeds to pantomime the directions to a more suitable place to eat. "Ees only two hundred meters." He didn't mention that it was 200 meters straight down the side of the cliff!
View from our room.
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Il Pirate
Now this is nice. We get half way down a long, steep stairway cut into the side of the cliff. Here we stop to think this over. We can continue down knowing that the return will be killer or, we cut are losses now and turn around. Forward! The seafood was so fresh that it jumped out of the ocean and onto our plates.
I went to reception to ask Antonio to make a reservation for me. "what are your plans for tomorrow?" he asks. I give him the rundown and he says, "No Seniora, ees too much." He proceeds to map out an itinerary for us. Well, alrighty then. Turns out he was right. We spent most of the morning waiting for a bus to Amalfi. Three busses went by and didn't stop because they were full. Finally a couple of women from Montreal suggested we split a cab and we were on our way.
